IPL 2020 comedy RCB finds solution for the trophy

super-over-new-zealand-loss-sports-satire

the fever of IPL 2020 has crossed 104 F and is not out .RCB has changed its logo and Jersey design in order to divert the effectiveness of the inswings from planet Saturn and duck the extreme pace of Mars .

Sani and Mangal is what Indians call them. They create complication when they are heavy on thers due to lack of scientific astrolgogical treatments.  

RCB team management of IPL 2020  had the option of finding a astrology driven solution or believe on team coach to do a vodoo black magic from black caps member Simon Katch.

 Virat Kohli like a true professional wanted the practice of toss to decide.

But after much discussion finally Indian Indian traditions prevailed considering its effectiveness in each new inititatives from Vedic times.

Official astrologer Baba Bengully of the Gully boy looks predicted that yellow is causing the problem and it needs to replaced by a yellow but costlier than the last one. He suggested the golden yellow .

He chanted “yellow yellow,treat the dirty fellow” for 101 times and we immediately saw a big change .

Lion also returned back from the caves of Africa after completing his shooting schedules of  Disney productions The Lion king.

Cricket specific Yagna was done wearing  new jersey with all team members chanting “om ipl aaye namoh, om ipl aaye namoh” meaning the god of cricket shower us the IPL.

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RCB logo 2020

Tendulkar replied Best of luck  RCB for IPL 2020.

MS Dhoni retirement news is satire for BCCI humour

super-over-new-zealand-loss-sports-satire

BCCI had to put to rest MS Dhoni retirement news rumours by sharing Chicken Butter Masala selfie of Dhoni taken just after World Cup 2011 celebrations.The famous picture had 4 members of winning team of World Cup 2011.

Sources from BCCI clarified that Dhoni still loves chicken and really hits hard on table in case it is unavailable as he used to do in his prime days.

BCCI Chairman has confirmed that with his hard eating abilities still intact there can not be any retirement

When reporters approached BCCI Coach Ravi Shastri,he humoursly told “there is a lot of Hunger still left in MS Dhoni and hence let’s not break the news before the drinks break.This is a pressure cooker situation”.

Reporters immdiately saw Ravi Shastri with double Martini multiple malt single layered Pineapple juice.

It confirmed that Ravi Shastri has already hit a six as far as pegs are concerned

Virat Kohli told the anxious reporters “.Ziva was able to perfectly sing difficult songs like Johny Johny Yes Papa and twinkle twinkle little star without a single pause or fumbling.

It only shows that MS Dhoni is a hard working reponsible man. So be rest assured that he is not retiring from papa duty of no cricket duties.

We will deliver him enough Bollywood masala so that he can cook great Chicken Butter Masala with nothing else.”

Suddenly Virat got a phone call from his wife Anushka Sharma on MS Dhoni retirement news. She said ” MSD hairs were rough and long but he made them work for him by using Sunsilk.

Now Sunsilk guys want to have family pack Sunsilk shoot and I can’t do it without you and Jeth ji together in it.”

Virat was murmuring hmm hhmm and call got disconnected after 7 minutes 7 seconds as a mark of respect to Dhoni.

He continued the Press Conference and declared ‘legends are legends and they need to be respected’ looking at himself in his black goggles while cleaning it .

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Next day Virat Kohli Shared his lunch pic with Dhonis,Ziva,Anushka and Chicken Butter Masala

BCCI sources have confirmed that MS Dhoni retirement news are fake news as Dhoni is Butter chicken masala for Indian Cricket team. Right now Indian players need lot of proteins to remain fit under rigorous schedules of Shaadi parties and IPL parties.

 

A T20 Comedy of Super Over in Ind vs Nz

super-over-new-zealand-loss-sports-satire

“Super over in ICC Live match in New Zealand will be banned forever” tweeted New Zealand PM. Kane Williamson instantly replied “super over will be OVER in our next super over.” New Zealand government has announced country’s highest galantry award for this brave tweet.

PM tweeted “We have had high noise pollution levels during these super overs.WHO has attirbuted increased heartbeat decibels of our players during these overs for noise pollution in our country”

ICC World,admin wing of ICC, has tendered unconditional apology over being the unfaithful to New Zealand for creation and continuation of Super Over.ICC officials were seen crying like babies the moment match was tied in ICC Live match .

Originally ICC World did not want to repeat the Original Sin of ICC 2019 world cup super over saga.But as any Shakespear in love would have expected, ICC world and its cricket had come with their own games of thorns.In agony,ICC world has decided to sue itself for creating super over and increasing noise pollution in New Zealand in ICC Live match.

Such A walk to remember was just too much for New Zealanders bringing them the haunting memories of icc 2019 world cup when New Zealand cows grazed entire Amazon forest in hunger of super over win. New Zealand players wanted to do Shashwank Redemption this time but Rohit Sharma behaved like Bad Boys for them.

Virat being the boss of his boss,cricket,ICC World,ICC Schedule,BCCI,any future events in cricket knew that Super over will behave like a blue valentine for New Zealand.His recently acquired sharpened Chronology technique helped him to line up players for their celebratory and condoling performances after match win.

Meanwhile ,South African cricket board emotionally tweeted “chokers are sometimes not the jokers to be nominated for 11 Oscars.” New Zealand certainly did not have the old enthusiasm to take on Indians armed with verbal and cricekting talents.A New Zealand player confessed “we did not want to know synonyms such as a monkey or Ma Ki like Australians did. Australian wild fires are still confused and enraged by Monkey or Man ki or Ma ki Baat.”

“Why waste our time by winning and then celebrating the super over win.Time thus saved will be used up in strategy formulation for finally avenging defeats in Super Over.” told a upcoming 12th man of New zealand team. “Instead as a revenge ,our PM wanted us to finish this Super Over thing forever” he informed

ICC World blamed the perfect ICC schedule which lead to have super over resulting in harmonal imbalances in New Zeland players in ICC live match.

T20 today match with Chronology

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Satire:Spectators following ball by ball chronology in t20 today match were satisfied about Jasprit Bumrah,the Man who is never ‘gumrah’with his line and length. Bumrah restrained New Zealand team for a mediocre score in today t20 match.

The ongoing India vs New Zealand match has been delayed by 30 minutes. As per chronolgoy,Rohit Sharma intentionally got himself cheaply out as he was bored to see third umpire’s face.

Rumours in the dressing room are rife that the actual reason for match delay is the ongoing bedtime stories by Kohli uncle to Ziva Dhoni over the phone.

Dhonis have gone to attend the engagement party of HARDik Pandya.So far, this had been the story of T20 today match.

After such a cute phone call, Virat was seen discussing AI of management ‘CHRONOLOGY‘ with Ravi Shastri.They decided right combination of players to come for celebrating Indian victory. Kohli had a vada paav in the morning keeping in mind the right chronology to win todays match.

K L Rahul,the signed Kuala Lampur Airlines’ unofficial ambassador is watching cricket ball come and go as if some girls are passing by him. Although he is loving the movement but unable to control the focus.

In the dressing room Raina is busy preparing for night party with vedic inputs from Jadeja Sir about the right mix of pandya, a bit of Sehwag ,one full Ganguly.

Everbody was happy with team formation for overnight Las Vegas tour.

knowing the pressure cooker situation in Vegas party, Ganguly has officially called Joy Shah ,son of mota bhai to declare our players NRC free for them to enJOY.This will allow a smooth party without any external termites from foreign locations in a foreign country.

In the meantime ,coach Ravi Shastri has taken a lead for the night party. He was seen instructing bartenders for stunner Pineapple shots with right colour combination of match situation,his mood and flavours.

He said”As the day progresses,it is only going to get hotter.” Chronology of t20 today match will be a decider for Shastri’s shots in upcoming IPL 2020.