Satire on What Weather like today

how-is-weather-today-social-satire

“what weather like today?” surfed a curious net serfer. Nothing but big Mc Burger replies the weather to the old man.

“what weather like today? Is this the question you ask to the grown up adult of mother nature?” said an angry Colardo weather.He goes full on highly frustrated “the only modern day grandma of our planet,Greta Thunberg, knows the right way to deal with you bully.

How dare you ? when she thunders even Mr. Trump wonders “how dare I ?anyway,it must be democrats, is how he ignores her”

Colarado Weather has not taken it too well on finding so many guys breaching its privacy guaranteed under the constitution of America.

People are asking third parties bing,yahoo,google with questions like how is the weather, how weather today,weather today,weather,tomorrow,weather hourly,weather 5 day, weather 7 days,weather forecast ?

Colardo weather says “don’t you guys have courtesy to directly contact me by being in heavens in the mornig and hell in the eveings ?

Why the hell you guys are bitching with third parties like google ,bing if the matter can be resolved bilaterally?”

He is rightly furious about not getting enough air to breathe free and space to walk easy in mountains,see the cloud.Constant surveillance and follow ups by humans has ruined his social life with its cousins forest,bird,rivers,all of them being part of his grandma Nature family tree.

So far Denver weather had been chilling like anything. Reported exchange of heated words,tweets and arguments in the senate discussion has led it to decide its course.

He thinks lowly of Nancy and for Trump he has ordered latest dictionary for something more extreme.

Colardo Weather being a patriotic american weather knows the right thing to do in these engulfing times of hate speeches,soaring tempers in public discussions.

It has been cool to think rationally for Colardo citizens. For America and for American social harmony, Denver Weather decided to chill for few more days.

Trump seems to be firing up all cylinders to take revenge for his lost tweeting hours due to impeachment trial.

Weather correspondents tried to establish contact but colardo weather is a private man and does not like giving predicting its mood tomorrow,today later in the day, or any other day.

He says I am moody ,don’t judge me by asking again and again “what whether like today?”

 

MS Dhoni retirement news is satire for BCCI humour

super-over-new-zealand-loss-sports-satire

BCCI had to put to rest MS Dhoni retirement news rumours by sharing Chicken Butter Masala selfie of Dhoni taken just after World Cup 2011 celebrations.The famous picture had 4 members of winning team of World Cup 2011.

Sources from BCCI clarified that Dhoni still loves chicken and really hits hard on table in case it is unavailable as he used to do in his prime days.

BCCI Chairman has confirmed that with his hard eating abilities still intact there can not be any retirement

When reporters approached BCCI Coach Ravi Shastri,he humoursly told “there is a lot of Hunger still left in MS Dhoni and hence let’s not break the news before the drinks break.This is a pressure cooker situation”.

Reporters immdiately saw Ravi Shastri with double Martini multiple malt single layered Pineapple juice.

It confirmed that Ravi Shastri has already hit a six as far as pegs are concerned

Virat Kohli told the anxious reporters “.Ziva was able to perfectly sing difficult songs like Johny Johny Yes Papa and twinkle twinkle little star without a single pause or fumbling.

It only shows that MS Dhoni is a hard working reponsible man. So be rest assured that he is not retiring from papa duty of no cricket duties.

We will deliver him enough Bollywood masala so that he can cook great Chicken Butter Masala with nothing else.”

Suddenly Virat got a phone call from his wife Anushka Sharma on MS Dhoni retirement news. She said ” MSD hairs were rough and long but he made them work for him by using Sunsilk.

Now Sunsilk guys want to have family pack Sunsilk shoot and I can’t do it without you and Jeth ji together in it.”

Virat was murmuring hmm hhmm and call got disconnected after 7 minutes 7 seconds as a mark of respect to Dhoni.

He continued the Press Conference and declared ‘legends are legends and they need to be respected’ looking at himself in his black goggles while cleaning it .

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Next day Virat Kohli Shared his lunch pic with Dhonis,Ziva,Anushka and Chicken Butter Masala

BCCI sources have confirmed that MS Dhoni retirement news are fake news as Dhoni is Butter chicken masala for Indian Cricket team. Right now Indian players need lot of proteins to remain fit under rigorous schedules of Shaadi parties and IPL parties.

 

Satire:Bear Grylls Man Vs Wild Rajnikant funny fans

Grylls grilled like bear

Satire:After a successful Man ki Baat with PM Modi, Bear Grylls was more than ‘Rajni’ percent sure that his shooting with Rajnikant would be as smooth as Thalaiva’s dialogues.

Rajni had already rehearsed with Modi for each frames,angles matching ‘Bear Grylls with modi soap opera.

Modi had privately informed Rajni that till now he himself is searching on quora about how Bear Grylls managed to perfectly understand my hindi and answer in english.

As per Modi’s man ki baat ,Bear is third best performer for camera only after him and Rajni.Modi chirped”in this era of technology,chronology samajhiye”

Bear Grylls unknowingly tested fans of Rajni by tweeting Rajnikant as a bollywood star.

Within fraction of nanoseconds,Twitter server went down,facebook was looking for google’s help and google was looking for Rajni help to calm down temperature over the internet.

Nature and tamilians across billions of galaxies just could not ‘bear’ it. Twitter bird disappeared from twitter, google was oogling without its g and facebook f was seen saving its lower half.

Things came to normalcy only when Anna flashed his black goggles in Rajni style hinting fans to calm down.

Grylls did bear spicy tweets dipped deep into rasham with few trolls topping it with meme vadas and jif idlis made specially for him.

Chitti was asked by Anna to save bear by spreading fake news about Bear Grylls death.

Having tasted traditional tamilian trolling with special south indian tweets ,Bear Grylls was seen pouring milk on Rajni anna digital picture.

Camera and Bear,the camerman’s condition improved after Rajnikant picture started dancing on mukkala mukkabala song as milk entered into camera processors.

Bollywood films like Bala and Ujda chaman were made as a tribute to Thalaiva hair style.This satiated Rajni fans still recovering from indigestion due to tweet of Grylls on Rajni.

Grylls now is dead sure that all bald men are Thalaiva fans copying Rajni hair style.

Lastly,Rajnikant tweeted “Unforgettable experience”with Bear Grylls smirking and fully understanding his man ki baat.

A T20 Comedy of Super Over in Ind vs Nz

super-over-new-zealand-loss-sports-satire

“Super over in ICC Live match in New Zealand will be banned forever” tweeted New Zealand PM. Kane Williamson instantly replied “super over will be OVER in our next super over.” New Zealand government has announced country’s highest galantry award for this brave tweet.

PM tweeted “We have had high noise pollution levels during these super overs.WHO has attirbuted increased heartbeat decibels of our players during these overs for noise pollution in our country”

ICC World,admin wing of ICC, has tendered unconditional apology over being the unfaithful to New Zealand for creation and continuation of Super Over.ICC officials were seen crying like babies the moment match was tied in ICC Live match .

Originally ICC World did not want to repeat the Original Sin of ICC 2019 world cup super over saga.But as any Shakespear in love would have expected, ICC world and its cricket had come with their own games of thorns.In agony,ICC world has decided to sue itself for creating super over and increasing noise pollution in New Zealand in ICC Live match.

Such A walk to remember was just too much for New Zealanders bringing them the haunting memories of icc 2019 world cup when New Zealand cows grazed entire Amazon forest in hunger of super over win. New Zealand players wanted to do Shashwank Redemption this time but Rohit Sharma behaved like Bad Boys for them.

Virat being the boss of his boss,cricket,ICC World,ICC Schedule,BCCI,any future events in cricket knew that Super over will behave like a blue valentine for New Zealand.His recently acquired sharpened Chronology technique helped him to line up players for their celebratory and condoling performances after match win.

Meanwhile ,South African cricket board emotionally tweeted “chokers are sometimes not the jokers to be nominated for 11 Oscars.” New Zealand certainly did not have the old enthusiasm to take on Indians armed with verbal and cricekting talents.A New Zealand player confessed “we did not want to know synonyms such as a monkey or Ma Ki like Australians did. Australian wild fires are still confused and enraged by Monkey or Man ki or Ma ki Baat.”

“Why waste our time by winning and then celebrating the super over win.Time thus saved will be used up in strategy formulation for finally avenging defeats in Super Over.” told a upcoming 12th man of New zealand team. “Instead as a revenge ,our PM wanted us to finish this Super Over thing forever” he informed

ICC World blamed the perfect ICC schedule which lead to have super over resulting in harmonal imbalances in New Zeland players in ICC live match.

Donald Trump latest news is Trump loves hot

Donald Trump latest news is Trump loves hot

Donald Trump latest news is Trump loves hot be it hot temper,deals ,economy,ladies or even dogs.Taking forward his US presidential campaign, Trump has just announced today ‘USA Economy is hottest on earth’. Mother of climate change Greta Thunberg immediately tweeted “How Dare you hurt my grandma earth? Leaders like you are responsible for earth warming by often using such hot words”. She hopes that Donald Trump is immediately impeached by no lessser than UN for increasing body temperature of ailing grandma earth.

Adam Smith spirit has came back from his coffin once he heard holy word HOTTEST ECONOMY. He just could not wait to measure the exact parameter for this new economics.He thinks his The Wealth of Nations is just like a thank you note for economist Trump. Smith was seen already praying to Jesus to give him a second life to be the disciple of the master.

Hearing the news of hottest economy, a 6 ft boa was found in living room trying to make sense of how Trump managed to change the parameters of temperature to economics. ‘This guy must be abnormal to be so normal in creating abnormalities’ were his first thoughts while doing rounds of the couch in the house .

CNN also reported about a man jumping off his feat once he was told the impact of this hottest economy news . His watch of $345.97 in 1974 is now valued at over $400,000. He wanted to kiss Donald trump’s hand in his thoughts. Trump did not allow even that tagging mexico prime minister.

Meanwhile Donald Trump latest news reporters suggest that hot Ivanka tweeted “My whole family including my dad,mom,my kids have contributed their share of hotness to make the American economy Hottest on earth. We have sacrified so much for America.Feeling hot ,hot,hot,thanks dad for having us in US”

T20 today match with Chronology

amit-shah-chronology-t20-sports-satire

Satire:Spectators following ball by ball chronology in t20 today match were satisfied about Jasprit Bumrah,the Man who is never ‘gumrah’with his line and length. Bumrah restrained New Zealand team for a mediocre score in today t20 match.

The ongoing India vs New Zealand match has been delayed by 30 minutes. As per chronolgoy,Rohit Sharma intentionally got himself cheaply out as he was bored to see third umpire’s face.

Rumours in the dressing room are rife that the actual reason for match delay is the ongoing bedtime stories by Kohli uncle to Ziva Dhoni over the phone.

Dhonis have gone to attend the engagement party of HARDik Pandya.So far, this had been the story of T20 today match.

After such a cute phone call, Virat was seen discussing AI of management ‘CHRONOLOGY‘ with Ravi Shastri.They decided right combination of players to come for celebrating Indian victory. Kohli had a vada paav in the morning keeping in mind the right chronology to win todays match.

K L Rahul,the signed Kuala Lampur Airlines’ unofficial ambassador is watching cricket ball come and go as if some girls are passing by him. Although he is loving the movement but unable to control the focus.

In the dressing room Raina is busy preparing for night party with vedic inputs from Jadeja Sir about the right mix of pandya, a bit of Sehwag ,one full Ganguly.

Everbody was happy with team formation for overnight Las Vegas tour.

knowing the pressure cooker situation in Vegas party, Ganguly has officially called Joy Shah ,son of mota bhai to declare our players NRC free for them to enJOY.This will allow a smooth party without any external termites from foreign locations in a foreign country.

In the meantime ,coach Ravi Shastri has taken a lead for the night party. He was seen instructing bartenders for stunner Pineapple shots with right colour combination of match situation,his mood and flavours.

He said”As the day progresses,it is only going to get hotter.” Chronology of t20 today match will be a decider for Shastri’s shots in upcoming IPL 2020.